A Typical Unemployed Post-Grad Day

  1. Naturally wake up at 10am
  2. Realize you have absolutely nothing to do so force yourself to go back to sleep
  3. Wake up 2 hours later after some very strange dreams and feeling more tired than you did when you woke up 2 hours ago
  4. Go on social media for an hour to see all the EXTREMELY important stuff you’ve missed during your deep slumber (usually has to do with Trump, death, or some stupid thing a celebrity did that the media is blowing out of proportion)
  5. Get out of bed when you can’t handle your full bladder and hunger anymore
  6. Debate whether to make breakfast or lunch food. Por que no los dos?
  7. Scroll through more social media as you eat your noodles or eggs or waffles or quesadillas or all 4 because why not
  8. See on your newsfeed *insert name here*’s job announcement, see that one floozy Ashley is pregnant AGAIN, see your best friend from high school has just gotten engaged, and then there’s that one person who is somehow STILL traveling and you’re jealous af
  9. Contemplate life
  10. More contemplating. Should I move back to my college town? Should I find a big-girl job in Los Angeles? Should I get an Australia Work & Holiday visa and live down undah for a year? Aussie boys are cute…
  11. Realize you can do literally anything but instead of finding that awesome, you just feel stuck like a deer in the headlights, unable to decide anything
  12. Realize that a couple hours have passed while you were deep in thought. Then think what you can do to make today not a totally wasted day
  13. Do something productive-ish so you can say you at least did SOMETHING that day (I come up with songs on the piano. And occasionally go for walks on the trail behind my neighborhood. SO productive, I know)
  14. Reward yourself for doing something you consider productive with…NETFLIX!
  15. Realize it’s already dinner time and make more noodles (or if you’re lucky, your mom will make dinner if you’ve moved back in with your parents….guilty)
  16. Have “family time” by sitting in the living room and mostly paying attention to the dogs
  17. Excuse yourself by saying you need to go apply to jobs. Job hunt. Cry when you realize all the open positions are really freaking boring
  18. Think about how much better life would if you had a boyfriend. #singleaf
  19. Feel like it’s been a long day but look and see you’ve only been awake for like 8 hours, which is how long most people are at work for. Gasp at that realization.
  20. Netflix. Binge watch Shameless <3
  21. Lay awake contemplating moving to Chicago to meet a family like the Gallagher’s
  22. Get in bed at 3. Sleep and repeat. Until the weekend 😉 Now that’s a different story…

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